do you give your romantic partner password/PIN access to your phone?

(please boost for size so we can learn how fedi does personal device privacy)

  • no, and they don't ask for it (37%, 153 votes)
  • no, even if they ask for it (8%, 33 votes)
  • yes, but only if they ask for it (14%, 58 votes)
  • yes, I pro-actively give them access (39%, 161 votes)
405 voters. Poll end: in 4 giorni

Kotes reshared this.

in reply to millennial fulcrum

My son and his girlfriend treat their phones like each others, to the point where if I get a text from one phone number it could be from either of them.

My partner and I don't really want the responsibility and have no interest or care about snooping. She has an envelope with all the relevant secrets of my digital empire should she need to get into something for some reason.

in reply to millennial fulcrum

@millennial fulcrum we both have root access to the home server(s) that host our mail and data, and on each other computers.

when we moved together we considered what to do and decided that we were both nerd enough to be able to set up a properly encrypted method of communication if we needed one, and that sharing the sysadmining was much more convenient.

And we also know the pin for each other's phone, but that's not really something important :D

in reply to millennial fulcrum

Yes, we sometimes use our phones interchangeably. For example grabbing whatever phone is closest to take a cute pet pic and share it, changing music while driving or using navigation features, etc. we also have passwords to each others computers for much the same reason

Before we quit Pokรฉmon a common use case was โ€œthereโ€™s a rare Pokรฉmon here, I will catch it on my and my partnerโ€™s phoneโ€ ๐Ÿคฃ

in reply to Jordi (Spherical Queirdo)

@Jordi (Spherical Queirdo) @millennial fulcrum in my experience, in the non toxic cases there is a small loss of privacy, but the level of trust is actually higher.

I'm thinking of those cases where the reason for sharing the PIN is for it to be more convenient to do stuffยน on somebody phone *for them* and usually under their request, but giving said pin requires a level of trust in the recipient that they won't use it to look at the phone at other times and/or for selfish / nefarious reasons such as spying on the other person.

(and it depends on the circumstances, but I'd consider โ€œhas asked for the PINโ€ a red flag that maybe they can't be trusted with it)

ยน like answering texts while the phone owner is driving, or checking a notification while the phone owner is in the bathroom, or the already mentioned managing the music, or navigation while traveling together, etc. basically cases where the other person is acting as a sort of voice based interface for the phone owner

in reply to Elena ``of Valhalla''

@valhalla @Jorsh
My partner and I trade phones back and forth the same way we trade clothes. Both would seem weird and uncomfortable to many people, but it works for us.

I don't remember how it happened, we've been like this for over15 years now.

There is, as Elena says, a very high level of trust between us, but also, I think, maybe a different kind of relationship.

My partner and I both prefer a highly entwined relationship with a high level of trust. And we have, as I said, been in this relationship for over 15 years. The level of sharing we have, not just phones, but money, support systems, medical information... I wouldn't do that in a new relationship. It takes time to build that kind of trust. But it also takes a comfort with emotional closeness that not everyone has. We are metaphorically living in each others laps (for several reasons) and it works for us. But I wouldn't expect it to work for everyone.

in reply to millennial fulcrum

If I were married maybe, in the interest of making logistical things easier if I died or got into a bad accident or something.

Not for "monitoring" though, I think it's unhealthy if there aren't still some private spaces in a relationship. If someone doesn't know me well enough to trust me in that way or obsessively needs access to every corner of my life, we shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with.

millennial fulcrum reshared this.

in reply to millennial fulcrum

Generally no, but every now and then something happens where I need to access his phone, eg we're traveling and I need to log into his phone while he's driving, then I know it until he changes it (or I forget) and vice versa.

I just don't care either way.

We're married 15 years. For emergencies, we each have the ability to access the other's password manager. (or we should--I should make sure we've got the most recent editions of each other's manager password.)

in reply to millennial fulcrum

Romantic partner is already sharing mouth flora and fauna so absolutely no objections if we were in a toothbrush shortage scenario. Toothbrush would be rised between uses just like with a single user.
And to be honest I would rather kiss someone with a clean mouth than someone who has a manky mouth because I wouldn't lend them my toothbrush.
Questa voce รจ stata modificata (1 giorno fa)
in reply to millennial fulcrum

@lorimolson
Yes but I don't think he remembers it. I know his because work stuff (I do the bookkeeping) often goes to his phone and I sometimes need a passcode for a bank website or something when he's asleep ๐Ÿ˜‘

As a family we often know pins but still respect privacy.

We were married at least a decade before phones became so ubiquitous, though. If I were dating there's no way I'd give someone access to my phone.

Questa voce รจ stata modificata (1 giorno fa)
in reply to millennial fulcrum

We share everything. I trust her with my life. What if she needs to get access to something and I'm not available or around? We constantly forget each others' passwords and have to keep asking for reminders though but yeah... I never really thought about it. I just figure she's my ride or die, she knows my darkest secrets, why keep anything from her?

Questo sito utilizza cookie per riconosce gli utenti loggati e quelli che tornano a visitare. Proseguendo la navigazione su questo sito, accetti l'utilizzo di questi cookie.

โ‡ง